Sunday, February 7, 2010

Season 2: Episode 1 - Ham, Pear, and Brie Paninis with Creamy Tomato Basil Soup

Finally! I'm back where I belong - in the kitchen and in your heart, and it feels so right. I went all out for my triumphant return to internet television, and really poured my heart and soul into this dish. I also poured a considerable amount of scotch into my mouth. Who knew such a little glass could hold so much booze? Anyway, I know we've all been dripping with anticipation for this day, so on with the show.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Episode 6: Return of the Drinking, or Spring Break Stir-Fried Tofu with Coconut Rice Sticks vs. Great Lakes Brewing

I'm back, baby! I would apologize for leaving you hanging the last few weeks. . . that is, if I wasn't doing something even cooler than videotaping myself cooking and drinking. I was buying a house, mofos. That's right, it's gonna be a whole new ballgame come June 1st. . . new kitchen, new utensils, new life. I'll still be the same though - maybe even awesomer - if that's even possible.

In tonight's episode, I celebrate Spring Break by cooking a quick and tasty stir-fry and bonging like a hundred beers. Just kidding, I couldn't find my bong so I kinda took it easy. The meal turned out to be pretty delicious, and I wrote a new song.

I'm real stoked about next week, which involves an Iron Chef style death match against my own father. My mom's going out of town for the week, so we're gonna take things to the next level with a brutal cook-off. Our family will probably never be the same, so make sure you tune in.

Oh, I think I mention something in the episode about a can-opener giveaway, so be sure to enter that by leaving a comment about how bad you want to have my can opener. Cool.

Did you know there is more to "Who Let the Dogs Out" than just "who let the dogs out?" over and over? Weird, right?

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Episode 5: Spiced Buffalo Meatballs in Fragrant Tomato Sauce with Eggplant, Zucchini & Cilantro Gremolata served over Lemon Pastina

What up. I know a lot of people were really disgusted, emotionally damaged, or at least a little creeped out by last week's episode, so I want to address that. I'll tell you the same thing I told my dad: I think I made some brave choices and maybe not everyone is ready for that. Where would we be without innovators like Helen Keller, Newt Gingrich, Thomas Edison, Me, Henry Ford, or maybe most important of all - Harrison Ford? We'd be screwed, you idiot. Do you think Harrison Ford thought people would be freaked out by him banging that hot Amish lady in Witness? Do you think he cared, or do you think he figured "F--- it, this might make people totally uncomfortable, but it feels right and the Amish people will never see it anyway." So that's pretty much how I approach things with my show. The Amish will never, ever see it, so it doesn't matter if I end up in the tub with a friend, or get drunk and cry about Mickey Rourke. It's my philosophy or whatever.

Anyway, this week I made some tasty meatballs and bold March Madness predictions in what fans of the future will probably refer to as "The Sober Episode." Everything turned out to be very delicious, nothing terrible happened, and in general it was my most successful meal to date. I had a lot of studying to do that night, hence the lack of competitive drinking. . . but I got a motherf---ing perfect score on my exam the next day, so it sort of paid off.

I enjoyed making the meatballs, even though they smelled a little weird and took forever to cook. The Lemon Pastina was a nice accompaniment to everything, and sooner or later I'll figure out the correct pronunciation of Acini de Pepe. Actually, I don't really care about it that much.

That's all for this week!

Cook free or die,

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Episode 4: Squid Nuggets and Lime Rice Pilaf vs. Pabst Blue Ribbon and Lychee Shooters

Hello, and welcome to Cooking Thyme with Andrew. Let me start by cautioning you to never, ever make any of the food or drinks or attempt any of the stunts featured in this episode. It was all pretty bizarre and maybe even a little dangerous. The stunts, mostly. The food - well, we'll get to that.

My friend Thomas was gracious enough to allow me to film over at his place this week, and I was kind enough to give him a giant check in return. We had a lot of fun, and discovered a magic wand capable of making beer appear out of thin air. Later, his elderly neighbor, Gerry, stopped by to have some words with us, and good times were had by all.

I would say that while this episode was definitely the most entertaining (for me at least) so far, it also climaxed in what was clearly the worst meal I have prepared in my short yet illustrious career. I know you're thinking, "Aw, take it easy lil' fella! Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure you tried real hard." But you probably also don't realize that Thomas barfed a little and I pooped my pants. Unless you've watched the video, of course. Just kidding, I didn't poop my pants. Seriously though, never make this food. Ever.

So that's it for this week, I look forward to getting out of the house more this spring, and several episodes are already in the works, including some incredibly manly grilling, a fancy dinner party, a special baking episode, and a visit with special guest - my dad. Let me know if there's anything you want to see more (or less) of. Unless you say something smarmy like "less of your nude body that somewhat resembles E.T. dying in a ditch." You can't always get what you want, after all.

Cook like nobody's watching, especially if something falls on the floor for a little bit,

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Episode 3: Savory Crepes with Asparagus, Ham and Gruyere vs. A Box of Wine

In this episode, I prepare some delicious crepes, which turns out to take for-freaking-ever. In the downtime I drink a box of wine, write a song and make some sauce. Good times.

This recipe was really delicious, and I will share it with you if you send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to:

Chef Andrew, Doctor of Wizards
c/o Cooking Thyme with Andrew

Yeah, just email me or something and I will give it to you. In code.

I had to overcome a lot of hurdles in the taping of this episode, including battling intense heat, intense wine, and the crepes taking an intensely long time to cook. I feel that this made me a better cook, and it definitely made me pretty drunk. In the future, I will absolutely prepare the crepes in advance, as that burned a solid two hours and made everyone really mad. Ok, just Amanda. What a firecracker.

If you have any questions or suggestions, please get in touch. Stay tuned next week, for a special episode of "Cooking Thyme with Andrew: Kitchen Nightmares Edition" where I take the show on the road and help a friend prepare a delicious meal from the crap he has lying around the house.

Yours in cookery,

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Episode 2: Chicken Tarragon Casserole vs. Tanqueray and Tonic

In today's episode, I prepare a succulent Tarragon Chicken Casserole, throw back some gin and have a really good time. I guess I would recommend the recipe, as it's extremely easy to prepare and reasonably comforting on a cold day. It would probably be ideal for someone who is either incredibly busy, incredibly lazy, or who happens to have lost a bet with a vindictive wizard who forced them to trade their ability to order a pizza in exchange for all the ingredients for this recipe. Or maybe they live alone and feel sad about something, this might cheer them up. Perhaps children would like this, beats me. I can't really imagine it's particularly good for you from a health standpoint or whatever, and it really doesn't reheat all that well. Ok, fine - it's nothing to write home about, but I was pretty tuckered out from the weekend and this meal was very simple to put together. Don't judge me.

I think the idea of casseroles is to kind of include as many food groups as possible in one dish. Like a pizza, but not as good or round. This one is kind of a FAIL in the vegetable department, so as a last minute side dish, I fired up some tasty Brussels sprouts with a little garlic and Balsamic vinegar in order to get some vitamins or whatever's in vegetables. Chlorophyll? Is that what's so good for you?

This would be a quick and easy meal to prepare, unless you happen to be drunk. Then it might get a little weird. Like you might forget a few steps, drink an entire bottle of wine and find yourself having a slurred conversation about how sad you are that you haven't seen "The Wrestler" yet. I'm just saying, it could happen. You could also make out with somebody gross. Don't get confused and blame this recipe if that happens, chances are you're just drunk. Or maybe you're gross too.

Anyway, that's all for now. Enjoy the video, I look forward to hearing some recipe ideas, comments, questions or complaints in the future.

Happy Cooking!